Sunday, October 26, 2014

Rock Solid Families Rocktober week 2




We are a family.

   1. Rock solid families express appreciation.

Ephesians 4:29-32 29 “Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

a. Strong families show approval to each other.
                                            i.     They make each other feel good about themselves.
                                          ii.     They build each other up.
                                       iii.     Strong families do not tear down.
                                        iv.     This doesn’t mean there is no place for correction or criticism.
1. What if 80% of our communication was positive and affirming?
b. Showing appreciation allows relationships to grow, build self-respect, a sense of accomplishment and self-reliance.
c.  No individual can live in an atmosphere of constant criticism.
                                            i.     If you want to destroy something or someone great, criticize.
d. “The deepest principal in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” William James
e. The world needs cheerleaders, not just critics!
                                            i.     1. Showing appreciation to our spouses.  
1. Stop the flow of corrupt words.
2. Release the flow of good words.
a. Predictions of Divorce.
                                                                                                  i.     Criticism.
                                                                                                ii.     Contempt.
                                                                                             iii.     Isolation.
                                                                                              iv.     Withdrawal.

    2. Rock solid families demonstrate appreciation to their  children.
a. “The essential function of a family is to provide a safe place in which children build self esteem.” James Dobson
                                            i.     We tend to become what the most important person in our lives thinks about us.
                                          ii.     Parents we are idols to our children.
                                       iii.     Home is where we confer the blessing.
                                        iv.     We bless our children through words and touch.
b. In addition to affirmation, all children need boundaries, discipline and consequences for wrong behavior.
c.  The boundaries need to be clear, constant and consequential.

   3. Rock solid families demonstrate appreciation among siblings.
a. Siblings should be required to respect, affirm, and appreciate each other.
b. The cautions and teachings of scripture apply to the entire family including children.
c.  Parents, be careful how you compare siblings; instead prepare them.
d. Each child with their own attitude, their own gifting, talents, abilities, strengths and weaknesses.
                                            i.     Speak to all of those.
                                          ii.     Guide toward their natural and God given bend.
  
    4. Rock solid families demonstrate appreciation to their parents.  
a. Children should be free to express their feelings, but never show disrespect or dishonor to their parents.
                                            i.     Parents are ready to amen the mess outta me right here but we have to make sure parents that we are more than doing our part before we expect others to do theirs.
1. Every relationship is a two way street.
a. Stay in the balance zone.
2. Otherwise we’ll experience communication breakdowns, expectation gaps, and unlimited disrespect flying with every word, action or deed.
b. Parents it is our great privilege, our great responsibility, and our greatest weapon into the future to be parental figures worth respecting!
                                            i.     What does it profit a man or woman to gain the whole world while losing my own soul, my own mind, my own will, and my own emotions is insanity.

Psalm 127:1-7 “1 Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. 2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. 3 Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him. 4 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. 5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.”

c.  Parents must model the respect they require and desire.
d. We create the atmosphere we live in.

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth. 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

   5. Rock solid families demonstrate good communication.

James 1:19-20 19 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

a. The Benefits of Good Communication.
                                            i.     Practice righteousness.
b. Use the most spiritual words in the world: I’m Sorry, I love you, I’m proud of you…
1. Modeling right living to my family is God’s ultimate vision for my life.
2. Way above, way higher, way deeper than any thing else in this life.
3. The dominant testimony, the greatest witness I have to the entire world of my love, my service, and my commitment to Jesus Christ is in, to and through my family.
c.  Promote growth.
                                            i.     People learn more when truth is shared in love.
                                          ii.     People want to be challenged not just critiqued.
d. Produces peace.
                                            i.     Why do I want to live in a war zone?
                                          ii.     I can’t connect to that on any level.
e. Be quick to listen.
                                            i.     Good Communication begins with good listening.
1. We listen on three levels.
a. Ears–10% of communication.
b. Eyes–60% body language, gestures.
c.  Heart–30% feelings.
2. If we will listen with our ears, our eyes, our hearts we will bring help, healing and salvation to our city.  
a. Suggestions to aid us in good communication.
                                                                                                  i.     Face the speaker.
                                                                                                ii.     Lean forward.
                                                                                             iii.     Open posture.
                                                                                              iv.     Honor personal space.
                                                                                                v.     Maintain eye contact.
                                                                                              vi.     Relax and be sincere.
                                          ii.     Be slow to speak.
1. Speak slow–Proverbs 18:13 “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”
2. Speak softly–Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
3. Speak smart–Prov. 17:27
4. Speak sincerely–Prov. 24:26
5. Speak w/self control–Prov. 17:14
                                       iii.     Be slow to anger.
1. When one is swift to hear and slow to speak, you will be exercising self-control.
a. Which is a fruit of the spirit.
b. Anger does not produce righteous results.
2. Speak the truth in love.
3. Show respect.
4. Express feelings.
5. Be positive in tone.
6. Acknowledge differences.
                                        iv.     The average family communicates 17 minutes a week or 2:42 minutes a day.

    6. Rock solid families spend time together.
a. This is not time together. Look at phone.
b. Have date night.
c.  Have family night.
                                            i.     Have fun and enjoy each other’s company, each other’s dreams, and encourage through each other’s hardships.
                                          ii.     No work allowed.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 4 "Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5 And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
d. Time spent together in the home is to teach, to talk, tie things down and impart truth.
e. The significance of the door post is going out & coming in, wherever we go.
f.   The significance of between the eyes is for our “perception”, seeing truth.
g. Binding on the hands is to “influence actions.”
                                            i.     Deut. 6:3 If we listen closely and be careful to obey scripture text says we are to teach, talk and tie our values in our children and grand children, “that it may be well with you.”

Deuteronomy 5:12 "Observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy, as the LORD your God has commanded you.”

h. The Sabbath is for families to rest, reflect, refresh, to spend time reconnecting with each other and especially with God.
                                            i.     It’s my responsibility to observe it for my family and I.
                                          ii.     So it’s you’re responsibility to observe it for you and your family.
i.    We all face the struggle of time.
j.   I’m not supernaturally given more time than you.
                                            i.     Use our time wisely, time management is important.
k.  Daniel 7:25 speaks of a tactic used by the anti-christ spirit already operating in the world is to “wear out” the saints.
                                            i.     2 Peter 2:7 echoes that identical truth.
                                          ii.     In Mark 4:19 three primary causes of stress for believers is given as: cares of this world, deceitfulness of riches, and the desire for other things.
1. These things choke out the word and wear out the saints.
l.    “Wear out” –to be spent, wasted, exhausted, consumed, and unable to continue.
                                            i.     I refuse to continually give my family leftovers.
                                          ii.     I will give them the best of me, I will give them my attention, my understanding, my patience, my guidance, my correction, and my love.
1. It’s about fighting for your marriage it’s about fighting for your future, fighting for their future, fighting the enemy of their soul and imparting the Spirit of God, the Spirit of legacy, the Spirit of right living, and honoring our God, our vow, and Christ’s sacrifice.

   7. Rock Solid families are built on consistency, built on sacrifice, built on care, built on concern, built on God.
a. Don’t stop investing, don’t stop encouraging, don’t stop praying, don’t stop believing, hold onto that feelin!
b. Prayer will help you find peace, it will help you find clarity, it will help you find happiness, and it will help you make the right decisions, even when they are the hardest decisions in the world to make, to you.
                                            i.     To do His thing will cost you everything!
                                          ii.     There is a service to others in family.
                                       iii.     There is a deep spiritual, physical, emotional concern in family.
c.  When decisions are being processed I don’t run in and say everything I think, everything I want, or everything I dreamed but I wait for the absolute perfect time to speak and then I speak.
                                            i.     Consistency is everything.
1. When you're inconsistent they will be inconsistent.
2. If you're consistent they will be consistent.
3. Start young, stay committed, stay on target, stay on task God is faithful!
                                          ii.     We raised them in church but what was your life like at home?
1. We're you a mess, inconsistent, haphazard, even destructive or judgmental?
2. Or were you living out a message, living out a purpose that's bigger than you, bigger than our church and bigger than community?
a. Bring them up!
b. Bring them up in the fear and admonition of God.
c.  Admonition is a cautionary reminder.
d. I don’t want my life and my activity to only speak ministry.
                                            i.     I want it to speak family, destiny, I want it to speak purpose, structure, I want it to speak life, compassion, and I want it to speak forgiveness and grace.




A Marine Corps sniper named Carlos Norman Hathcock II with a service record of 93 confirmed kills nicknamed "White Feather", because of the feather he kept in a band on his bush hat. After a platoon of Vietnamese snipers was sent to hunt down "White Feather", many Marines in the same area donned white feathers to deceive the enemy.
One of Hathcock's most famous accomplishment was shooting an enemy sniper through the enemy's own rifle scope, hitting him in the eye and killing him. When Hathcock saw a flash of light (light reflecting off the enemy sniper's scope) in the bushes, he fired at it, shooting through the scope and killing the sniper. Hathcock concluded that the only feasible way he could have put the bullet straight down the enemy's scope and through his eye would have been if both snipers were zeroing in on each other at the same time and Hathcock fired first, which gave him only a few seconds to act.

During a volunteer mission days before the end of his first deployment, he crawled over 1,500 yards of field to shoot an NVA commanding general, uninformed of the details of the mission until he accepted it. This effort took four days and three nights, without sleep, of constant inch-by-inch crawling. Hathcock said he was almost stepped on as he lay camouflaged with grass and vegetation in a meadow shortly after sunset. At one point he was nearly bitten by a bamboo viper but had the presence of mind to avoid moving and giving up his position. As the general exited his encampment, Hathcock fired a single shot that struck the general in the chest, killing him. Forced to crawl back instead of run when soldiers began searching for the General’s killer so as to keep his life.

You cannot talk defeat and expect victory.




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