10 things your teenager hates about you

Ten Mistakes Parents Make with Teenagers–People-Employers-Teachers-Principals-Counselors-Coaches-Youth Pastors. 

·        We have all made these mistakes, make these mistakes, and will continue to make these mistakes.

·        Our purpose is to get us to recognize these enemies and make the effort to fight all these enemies away.

·       Teenagers have listened to so many influences for the past 17 to 18 years about everything they are supposed to do or be. We have to honor them in their life, their progress, their spirituality, and their God mission.

·        Our enemy’s purpose is so clear.

John 10:10 “The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

#1 Teenagers Hate Inconsistency: Failure to Be a Consistent Model

·        How many of you hated when your parents said, “"Do as I say, not as I do."

·        I hated their inconsistencies.

o       I wanted a path to follow not several. S tudents appreciate the truth.

o       They will hear it, accept it then abide by it if they see it working in your life and if you are willing to patiently, mercifully, guide them into it. I promise.

§        It’s consistency that has done the miraculous in our lives and ministry.

§        It’s consistency that our students see that has made them desire the same in their lives.

o       Parents who fail to be consistent will raise inconsistent students.

§        Inconsistent in their careers, their relationships, their attendance, their bill paying, their spirituality, and in every area of their lives.

§        God has placed us in the lives of our students to guide them…in…every…thing.

§        Consistency changes lives.

Galatians 6:4 “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct. 6 Those who are taught the word of God should provide for their teachers, sharing all good things with them. 7 Don't be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. 8 Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9 So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.”

#2 Teenagers Hate when you act as if you are never wrong: Failure to admit when you are wrong.

·        "I'm the adult. I'm right."

o       I can not tell you how many times I have gone to my sons to ask for their forgiveness.

o       I make many mistakes as a parent but I realize that my sons respect me for being able to say I’m wrong a whole lot more than if I act as if I’m perfect through every circumstance.

·        I have seen that through my experience with my own parents.

·        After admitting that you’re wrong repent and move on.

·        Admission is the first step to healing but there are more steps.

o       Adulthood does not create maturity. 

#3 Teenagers Hate Dishonesty: Failure to give honest answers to honest questions.

·        "Because I said so, that's why."

·        Even though they’ll use it on you they hate when it’s used on them.

o       Teach them how horrible it feels when you’re lied to.

·        Sneakiness is forbidden in our home.

o       Tell me the truth. I can handle anything as long as it’s the truth.  

#4 Teenagers Hate when they can’t dream for themselves: Failure to Let Your Teenager Develop a Personal Identity

·        "You want to be what?"

·       My wife and I had a student that was driven to succeed by his parents and their education regiment. I am not against education at all I’m a huge advocate but when God speaks to a student, a person young or old I desire them to pay attention and listen to His voice.

o       He told them about the call that he felt God had upon his life, they laughed at him, then scorned him, and finally told him that his idea was completely ridiculous and that there was no way he would be in ministry.

o       He deals with frustration, disappointment, shame, when he could have been receiving their blessing, their prayers, and their support instead.

·        They are Christians.

·       He, after many years of fighting off their discouragement is in ministry touching many, many lives every day.

·       He may not be rich, he might not be what they called him to be but I believe he honors them every moment in a godly way by following the voice of God.

#5 Teenagers Hate when you don’t acknowledge the Good: Failure to Major on the Majors and Minor on the Minors

·        "This room is a pig sty!"

·        Nice job cutting the grass. It’s looks okay…if you’re blind.

o       No matter what stage a student is in their training and upbringing we have to encourage and acknowledge the wins.

o       We also must discipline, in a godly way. Never provoke our children to wrath.

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth." 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

·        Of all the people in a student’s life the most influential is the parent. Tell them you love them, tell them you’re proud of them, and tell them how amazing they are cause at the end of the day that’s what they are looking for.

o       I just needed some affirmation.

AFFIRM-validate, confirm: to state positively: to assert: to express dedication to.

#6 Teenagers hate that adults refuse to love beyond performance: Failure to Communicate Approval and Acceptance

·        "Can't you do anything right?"

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

·        God has given us power but power in the bible should never be abused.

o       Our children are an extension of us in body, mind, soul and spirit so God desires us to treat them with nurture, respect, tenderness, and love.

o      When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them do it in such a manner as to not provoke them to wrath(stir up purposefully-inciting anger) but endeavor to convince their decisions and work upon their reason.

#7 Teenagers hate when you judge their friends: Failure to Approve Your Teenager's Friends

·        "Where did you find him?"

o       Teenagers hate lectures.

o       Your student wants you to trust their decision making process.

·        Trust the people they have around them until you have a reason not to.

·        And then help your student make the right decisions with their friends.

·        If there is influence that you see that is harmful speak up but realize that your student could be rubbing off on them in a positive way as well.

·        If you’re communicating well with your student then you’ll know what’s up and if you don’t then the communication breakdown needs to be addressed.

o       Know them know all the things about their friends not just what you think you see but have them around you to really see their friends.

·        Invite them to your house and then don’t be a jerk the whole time they’re there.

#8 Teenagers hate that perfection is the requirement: Failure to Give Your Teenager the Right to Fail

·        "You did what?"

·        You are a child of God and you are the son of a pastor you will not act like that, ever. You will be perfect.

o       I promise this will do more harm than good. I’ve seen so many students destroyed in this very manner.

o       There are better ways to say “Hey is that really the image that you want to portray to the world of the Christ that lives in you?”

·        Get them thinking and reacting on their on.

·        When we treat them this way our actions are no better than theirs because we’re having a judgmental attitude toward their actions.

·        As parents we are to teach, train, and disciple not brow beat them into the image of our likeness.  

·        Give them room to fail. Then teach them to fail forward.

·        Grace-The view that Christians have on grace is that it is undeserved mercy that God gave to us by sending His son to die on a cross to give us a way to be with Him for the balance of eternity.

·        Mercy-Compassionate behavior on the part of those in power.

·        Grace and mercy is room to fail.

1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.”

Consider the kinds of people God has hired onto His staff team over the centuries from this very familiar list:

·        Noah was a drunk (Gen 9:21)

·        Jacob was a liar (Gen. 27)

·        Leah was ugly (Gen. 29:16-18)

·        Joseph was abused (Gen. 37:22-28)

·        Moses had a stuttering problem (Exodus 4:10)

·        Gideon was afraid (Judg. 6:15)

·        Samson had long hair and was a womanizer (Judg. 16:5-17)

·        Rahab was a harlot (Josh. 2:1)

·        Jeremiah and Timothy were too young (Jer. 1:6)

·        David had an affair and was a murderer (II Sam. 11:2-4&14-17)

·        Elijah was suicidal (I Kings 19:4)

·        Isaiah preached naked (Isaiah 20:2)

·        Jonah ran from God (Jonah 1:3)

·        Naomi was a widow (Ruth 1:3)

·        Job went bankrupt (Job 1:21)

·        Peter denied Christ…several times (3x) (Mark 14:71)

·        The disciples fell asleep while praying (Matt. 26:40)

·        The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once (John 4:17-18)

·        Zaccheus was too small (Luke 19:2-3)

·        Paul was too religious (Acts 22:1-5)

·        Timothy had an ulcer (I Tim. 5:23)

·        Lazarus was dead (John 11)

#9 Teenagers hate that they can’t ask questions: Failure to Discuss the Uncomfortable

·        "Do you mind if we talk about something else?"

·        There are some things that must be discussed in the home.

o       Do not wait until your son/daughter is in college, in a marriage, in a relationship that has gone too far, or in a financial crisis before you talk about the uncomfortable.

Proverbs 22:6 “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

·        Train them up in every aspect of their lives not just the spiritual.

o       Students want you to talk to them about the everyday. They want you to ask the hard questions.

o       They want to trust you with the mistakes they have made and are going to make.

#10 Teenagers hate that they can’t ever come first: Failure to Take Time.

·        "I'm kind of busy right now. Could you come back later?"

·        There are more important things in your life besides your career, your finances, your retirement, your friends, or your hobbies.

o       You must make the efforts to succeed in their lives no matter their age.

§        I want my kids to come to me at all stages of their lives knowing they can trust me to hear them out then help them make decisions.

o       If you continue to put your students life, hobbies, recreation, sports, school work, friends, interests, or your love for them on the back burner when you get time they will be no where around.

o       Students want you to be interested in the things they are interested in not so you can join them in their passions but to again affirm them.

   
December Series

Solid Rock Family Church
508 Hunters Run Road
Jefferson City MO, 65109
573-893-4609

Email: youthrock@srfc.us

Web: www.youthrock.us

                 http://youthrock.us/media.html for iTunes and Facebook

To Subscribe email us at yraxxess@gmail.com

Chaos in my family

1.Families experience chaos because they are unwilling to submit to one another in love.

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT) "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

1.Many people refuse to operate in a team mentality. Family is teamwork.

Team-people that come together on one side to achieve one common goal.

1.No camaraderie, no unity, no common goal to achieve with families running so solo, singular, and selfish.

2.Family is not about you getting your way.

3.Stop creating your own chaos.

2.If families worked together they would have God's favor and protection.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NLT) "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. [6] And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. [7] Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. [8] Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. [9] Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

3 essentials for a Christian home.

1.Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Meditation.

2.Commit wholeheartedly to the commands. Be careful and exact.

3.Repeat again and again to your children, talk about God's Word, tie God's Word to your hands, wear God's Word on your foreheads, and write God's Word everywhere you are.

2. Children honor your mother and father for this is right in God.

Ephesians 6:1-3 (NLT) "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. [2] "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: [3] If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth."

1.I feel so sorry for parents who refuse to stand up to their children.

2.God will never bless that family because they are out of order.

3.Order is the mother and father are to be men and women of God who raise Godly offspring through love, correction, discipline, and encouragement.

1.If you treat your parents with disregard, and disrespect and you expect God to honor and bless you, you are sadly and sorely mistaken.

2.You will never be all that God has designed you to be.

3. God will never honor disobedience because the scripture says, 1 Samuel 15:23 (NLT)Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king."

1.People say well you don't know what I've been through.

2.You don't understand you don't know my parents at home.

1.Complaining and blaming come easy.

1.The writer of the Book of Deuteronomy said the problems of his generation were the result of the sins of the previous generation.

1.Israel blamed their suffering on their parent's sins.

2.Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

1.They believed that the sins of the parents are paid for in the lives of the children.

2.Not true.

3.In this chapter of the bible it says, "Righteous people will be rewarded for their own righteous behavior, and wicked people will be punished for their own wickedness." vs.20

2.It was a popular belief in Old Testament times and was summarized in a proverb:

Ezekiel 18:1-5 (NLT) "Then another message came to me from the Lord: [2] "Why do you quote this proverb concerning the land of Israel: 'The parents have eaten sour grapes, but their children's mouths pucker at the taste'? [3] As surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord, you will not quote this proverb anymore in Israel. [4] For all people are mine to judge-both parents and children alike. And this is my rule: The person who sins is the one who will die."

1.They thought that meant the misery of the present is punishment for the sins of the past.

1.That is a cowards view of history and sometimes ours to the extent that we blame those who have gone before us for the trouble we face in our time and in our personal lives.

Perspective-a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something.

3. Do what is right God will honor that.

Colossians 3:17 (NLT) "And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."

1.I honor people because it's right.

1.I honor people because it's holy.

2.I honor people because it's what God commands, instructs, and encourages me to do.

3.I honor those who are not worthy of honor, worthy of respect, or worthy of mercy because in doing so I am a living, breathing, example of Jesus Christ into their lives.

2.You're not responsible for the way things are in this world.

1.You are responsible for what you do with the way things are.

3.If you are not happy, it's not because of the life that has been given to you.

1.It's because of what you've done with the life that has been given to you.

Ezekiel 18:30-32 (NLT) "Therefore, I will judge each of you, O people of Israel, according to your actions, says the Sovereign Lord. Repent, and turn from your sins. Don't let them destroy you! [31] Put all your rebellion behind you, and find yourselves a new heart and a new spirit."

1.The important question is: What are you going to do now with the present that is given you?

1.You are free only when you can accept the past for what it is and only when you can accept your parents for who they were -- and let it be.

Romans 14:12 (NLT) "Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God."

    December Series

Solid Rock Family Church
508 Hunters Run Road
Jefferson City MO, 65109
573-893-4609

Email: youthrock@srfc.us
Web: www.youthrock.us

http://youthrock.us/media.html for iTunes and Facebook

To Subscribe email us at yraxxess@gmail.com

Chaos in my mind

Chaos-complete disorder:state of utter confusion.

•   If there's one thing we all know and have experienced in personal and corporate ways is that chaos is never very far away.

•   From an office, purse, car, or home, to a global chaos like a flood, fire, explosion, tsunami, or the most unnerving death.

•   Chaos is always lurking around the corner, prowling and sneaking around looking for an opportunity to throw our lives into disarray and confusion.

•   It never stops.

•   It never tires.

•   It's incessant!

Isaiah 45:18 (NLT)

"For the Lord is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. "I am the Lord," he says, "and there is no other."

1. People make decisions in their mind based upon what they feel, what they have been taught, or what they have seen, to be right or wrong, good or bad, beneficial or worthless.

•   Your mind is the command center for all that you are and do.

•   Lives have been through success and lives have been through failure all because of what first...transpired...in the mind.

•   I have watched them lay down and refuse to make decisions in the chaos thinking that has exempted them from failure when as a matter of fact it was the very decision that launched it.

•   So many times you see winners or losers all being developed and created in the mind.

•   You can point them out just based upon the words they speak.

Romans 12:2(NLT)

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

•   Want to know the will of God, need direction, line yourself up with His Word.

2. God is the author of clarity not confusion!

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

•   God has not given us the spirit of fear, negativity, weakness, He has given us power, courage, resolution, giving us strength to meet difficulties and dangers with opposition and not embrace.

•   Sound mind, quietness of mind. Peace in chaos.

•   When you have decisions to make go to His Word, His roadmap for you.

•   The Spirit of God will make you stand up for what is right, speak out against what is wrong, and help you flesh that out moment by moment that you rife makes eternal impact.

3. We have to guard our minds.

Ephesians 6:13, 17 (NLT)

"Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm."

[17] Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

•   I want to do, have chosen to do the right thing.

•   Righteousness actually constitutes the right actions towards those around me.

•   And unrighteousness is not doing the right thing toward my neighbor.

•   Godliness is doing the right thing towards God.

•   Ungodliness is the wrong relationship with God.

•   Take the helmet of salvation (Eph 6:17),

•   Salvation as a helmet?

•   Why?

•   Because God wants control of our mind.

•   The mind controls the body.

•   If God controlled the mind then He will truly lead us in a righteous manner body, soul, and spirit.

•   It seems that everywhere I go people are having a tough time of it. Life.

•   The list is long: work issues; interpersonal conflicts; school issues; family issues; poor choices made and the consequences; illness; loss; grief; relationships; a sense of betrayal; were only some of the things I hear.

•   It seems that chaos has the upper hand.

•   I don't know how chaos has made it's way into your life right now; perhaps in a manner I've suggested or some other way.

•   But know this, that our awesome creator God, through his only Son Jesus Christ, can even use the raw material of chaos to create hope; purpose; new insights and wisdom; a rekindled love; a second chance; the promise of a future.

•   In the beginning the Creator shaped chaos into goodness.

•   God created order in chaos.

•   He spoke it into being, into place.

•   Clarity in chaos.

•   So whatever you are dealing with right now the creator of the heavens and earth can say to it,  "peace be still."

December Series

Solid Rock Family Church

Youthrock Teen Ministries

508 Hunters Run Road

Jefferson City, MO 65109

Phone: 573-893-4609

Email: youthrock@srfc.us

Web: www.youthrock.us

http://youthrock.us/media.html for iTunes and Facebook

To Subscribe email us at yraxxess@gmail.com

4 differences between confidence and arrogance.

Some people think that confidence is pride.  You can be confident and very humble.  Pride is confidence in the wrong things. True confidence comes from a solid foundation of knowing who you are in Christ.

1. Confidence is security in who we are in Christ. 

• Arrogance is self-reliance because of what we have, who we know, or what we have done.

2.  Confidence is knowing that ''we can do all things through Christ Jesus'' versus the arrogant alternative of trusting what we can do ourselves.

3. Confidence is knowing our past is forgiven by God and we are in good standing with Him by faith.

• Arrogance is confidence in our works and our right living.

4. Confidence is knowing that God is on our side and, therefore, it doesn't matter who is against us.

• Arrogance is thinking that we are secure from problems and circumstances because of our own recources.

Be confident because of who you are in Christ Jesus. With Him on your side, you can't fail.

• "Relationship is an action not a feeling."  
• Pride- a conceited sense of one's superiority Living life superficial- shallow.
• Pride says,"I am to superior to:worship, pray, serve, reach out to others, witness, read the bible and love others."

1 John 2:15-17  "Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world-wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear imporant-has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from Him. The world and all it's wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out-but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity."

-Letting pride control my life makes me susceptibe to the enemies tricks- lies- destructive forces.

• When I take off the costume of pride and I open up my heart and open up my soul unto God. 
• This is where I become like Christ.
• This is where I lay down my motives, my goals, my ambitions and I begin to attract and recieve the power of God.

November Series

Solid Rock Family Church

Youthrock Teen Ministries

508 Hunters Run Road

Jefferson City, MO 65109

Phone: 573-893-4609

Email: youthrock@srfc.us

www.youthrock.us

http://youthrock.us/media.html for iTunes and Facebook

To Subscribe email us at yraxxess@gmail.com